1 Month in, What Ive learned about being a Dad
Ive never experienced something like this, this is literally the hardest thing ive ever done in my life.
With the chaos that has been going on from bringing home our daughter, ive found myself frustrated way too often. It seems like everything I do or that happens just rolls downhill, but with me being the type of person I am, I feel like I’m just not doing good enough.
My daughter is absolutely amazing, just as is my girlfriend, her mother. But ive just been frustrated. I mistakenly have taken it out on her… But since she’s done this twice before, she understands. One of the wisest things that she’s told me, is simply that ill never be ready and it won’t be easy.
Its hard for me to take that, because I’m always prepared right? Wrong. That was a huge wake up call. But I’m still trying to balance everything.
She keeps telling me to stop trying, and just be our daughters dad, but how? I always try to be the best at anything and everything that I do. Especially being so unprepared for this whole fatherhood thing, its been so overwhelming.
Its like I’m just fighting with myself, when the only thing I need to do is just be myself. That’s when everything happens, when I’m just me.
On a quick side note, the misses car got a flat on Halloween, so to top everything off we got hit with some bad luck. Low and behold her car didn’t have a spare, it literally had an extra tire. A brand new tire…. Can you believe that?! But still I have to figure out how and when we can get it mounted, but hopefully soon (for now she has the spare from my car on hers, same lug pattern luckily).
Its extremely hard, all of it. But I’m trying to slowly plug away and get back to being me again, hopefully it doesnt take too long!
Even only having our daughter being 1 month old, it has been so difficult to adjust to, she was right I never was going to be ready. But I know she is still right, I just have to be myself…
We will get there.